Practice self-attunement by reflecting on your needs and experience.
This video will guide you through a Needs Assessment Exercise:
If you are asking yourself "WHAT DO I NEED?", this exercise is for you.
If others are asking you "what do you need?" but you have no clue how to answer, this exercise is for you.
If you struggle to tend to yourself, this exercise is for you.
If you can't find the words to share your experience, this exercise will help.
Grab a notepad or open a new note on your phone.
Write down any words that resonate with you as we reflect on these 5 categories:
Body Needs
Safety Needs
Individual Needs
Relationship Needs
Spiritual Needs
Practicing this Needs Assessment Exercise will strengthen your capacity to feel safe and understood in connection with yourself and others.
My name is Dani Sullivan, I am a therapist and human who struggles, at times, to know what the heck I need. I built this exercise for myself and for my clients to practice owning our needs by putting our experiences into words. I hope this video makes communicating your needs easier!
This needs assessment exercise is one of many exercises included in my book, Intention: 10 Ways to Manifest a More Purposeful Life. The book is widely available for purchase online, and you can order a signed copy here, and subscribe to my newsletter to access a bundle of resources to help get your healing journey started.
Why does knowing our needs matter?
Attunement is a core developmental need. Attunement is our capacity to be present with and witness to expressions of experience in ourself and others. Attunement moves beyond empathy, to recognize, understand, and relationally respond to the needs and pain one witnesses in themself and others. Attunement is what therapy and healing is all about - learning that we can feel safe to rest, digest, and exist in connection with ourself and others. Knowing that whatever experiences and needs arise in the present moment will be met with understanding, non-judgement, and care.
What happens when we develop in the absence of attunement?
Without the presence of a loving and responsive witness, we struggle to know what we need, and may feel our needs do not deserve to be met. This needs assessment exercise is a step toward reclaiming our needs and honoring our wholeness. May it guide you into deeper relationship with yourself and your world.
To practice self attunement, stream the animated needs assessment video embedded at the top of this page, or click the button below to play the video on YouTube:
sending the warmth of witnessing to you & yours,
Dani
Dani Sullivan, LCSW - Therapist, Author, Founder of Intentions Therapy
Looking for more support?
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Needs Assessment Video Transcript:
Hello and welcome! Today, we're diving into a needs assessment exercise. You might be here because you are asking yourself this simple question: ‘What have I been needing?’
Let’s explore how attuning to our needs can help us feel more grounded, nourished, and understood.
Many humans feel disconnected from a knowledge of their needs.
We have a hard time feeling into our bodies, our individual and collective experience, and putting words to what we are lacking, and what might help.
For many of us, this difficulty knowing our needs may result from a lack of attunement early in life. Without a loving witness, many of us did not have room to explore our experience, to speak about our desires, and to find language for our pain.
The good news is, it’s never too late to start tuning in. In this video, you will be guided through a Needs Assessment. This exercise is designed to help you identify and express your needs throughout different aspects of your life.
We’ll break this down into five key categories:
Body Needs
Safety Needs
Individual Needs
Relationship Needs
Spiritual Needs
By engaging with each category, you’ll have the opportunity to reflect on your experience and craft language to express your needs with more ease.
This practice of self attunement not only allows your needs to be seen and heard, But it also Creates emotional safety and security by providing regulation to your nervous system and Deepening your connection with your body and the world around you.
As someone who learned that one of the ways I can keep myself safe socially was by not having needs, I require extra practice with owning my needs and taking responsibility to nourish myself. I built this exercise for myself and for my clients who are unlearning these survival adaptations and re-committing to listening to their inner voice.
Are you ready to explore your experience?
As you reflect on each category, you may want to take note of what needs draw your attention.
Let’s get started. take a moment to tune into your body. It’s always communicating with you, guiding you towards greater awareness of your present experience. By tuning down the volume of your thoughts and listen to your body as a teacher.
Take a deep breath in and slowly exhale. Notice where your body is carrying pain, stress, or tension. Tap into the world of sensation in your body.
1. Body Needs
Ask yourself: ‘What does my body need to feel more comfortable and alive?’
Consider needs like:
Water
Food
Rest
Movement
Comfort
Healthcare
Notice any sensations of discomfort or tension in your body. Perhaps you need more rest, nourishment, or physical care and attention. Write these needs down and reflect on them.
2. Safety Needs
Next, think about: ‘What do I need to feel safe and secure?’
Reflect on needs such as:
Stability
Financial Security
Peace of Mind
Emotional Safety
Safe Community
Are there any areas where you feel unstable or insecure? Identify them and note down how you might address these needs.
3. Individual Needs
Consider: ‘What do I need to feel secure in my sense of self?’
Think about needs like:
Self-Care
Autonomy
Self-Love
Personal Growth
Clarity
Reflect on what supports your sense of identity and personal well-being. Write down any insights or needs that arise.
4. Relationship Needs
Ask yourself: ‘What social or relationship needs would support my connection with others?’
Look at needs such as:
Connection
Communication
Trust
Empathy
Mutual Respect
Consider where your relationships might benefit from more attention or nurturing.
5. Spiritual Needs
Finally, reflect on: ‘What does my spirit need to feel aligned and present?’
Identify needs like:
Purpose
Joy
Creativity
Inner Peace
Spiritual Practice
Note any spiritual practices or sources of meaning that could enrich your life."
Close out your needs assessment by thanking yourself for taking the time to inquire into your needs, and trust that the more you forge this path of attuning to your own needs, the easier and more satisfying it will become.
I honor all that I hold and embody today. I trust myself to take care of my body, mind, spirit, and relationships as my needs arise. I am witnessing myself without judgment, and in loving awareness.
Thank yourself for taking the time to explore and articulate your needs.
Attunement is what therapy and healing is all about - learning that we can feel safe to rest, digest, and exist in connection with ourselves and others. Knowing that whatever experiences and needs arise in the present moment will be met with understanding, non-judgement, and care.
Noticing and naming our needs, even if we can’t get them met or fulfilled immediately, is an important aspect of self-care.
Self-attunement is a reparenting practice that develops our capacity to feel alive and present in the world, to hold space and time for ourselves, and to experience fullness and expansion
For many in the LGBTQIA+ community, attunement can be especially significant. If you’ve experienced a lack of attunement or acceptance, this exercise is a step toward reclaiming and nurturing your own needs. It’s a way to validate and honor your unique experiences and desires. Remember, it’s never too late to start tuning into yourself and connecting with your needs.
Self-attunement and self-compassion are powerful tools in healing. Embrace this practice as a form of self-care and empowerment."
If you found this guide helpful and are looking for more support, I’d love to introduce you to my services. I’m Dani Sullivan, LCSW, and I offer virtual therapy through specializing in LGBTQIA+ individuals, neurodivergent folks, and those healing from trauma.
Reach out to get started today intentionstherapy.com/connect
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